Civil debate beings with two very simple maxims. Don’t call the other party names, and don’t make fun of the other person for their views. You may disagree until your dying day with another, but that does not mean you should sink to the level of name calling and disparaging another. Is the other person engaging in that conduct? Then guess what? You can walk away, or scroll away, or move away from wherever that conduct is happening. For clarification, I am referring to DEBATE, not Hate Speech or Bullying.
We’ve all met these people. The ones that enjoy making fun of another person when they don’t agree with you. The ones who actively look to be offended. People from ALL sides do it.
Remember: “The aim of an argument, or of a discussion, should not be victory but progress”. - Karl Popper
So, what should civil debate look like? And why bother? To answer the most relevant question, engaging in debate allows people to learn. By debating others with different opinions, you learn how and why another person holds an opinion inconsistent with yours. You learn that there are issues you may not have taken into account. You learn tolerance and perhaps walk away with disagreement but a better of understanding of the person you were debating.
This is an election year in the U.S. There is also a war(s) going on in Israel, which always stirs up antisemitism. There are some really horrific comments being made or actions taken by both of the two major parties in the U.S. and there is worldwide wave of propaganda being perpetuated.
So, what does civil debate look like? For the record, a list of talking points is not a handbook for debate - its merely telling you what to say. Debate is about thinking for yourself, based on your own beliefs and perhaps some research, but absolutely not about a list of talking points considered for debating purposes. Intelligent people can create their own talking points.
So what debate rules should you look to? Though there are many rules for different debates (many political debates have negotiated rules), it is commonly considered good debate practice to follow 10 debate rules which are explained in detail by Jonathan Herring’s book, How to Argue. I have listed my own take on these 10 simple rules.
1. Know what you are talking about.
Spending 10-15 minutes of research can be beneficial to all parties, and in today’s world of instant access, it is not difficult. The rub today, however, is finding reputable sources. Just because an organization is an internationally acclaimed organization doesn’t necessarily mean they are a unbiased source. Know a little about your sources, not simply that they are “nationally recognized”, especially when it comes to extremely polarizing topics.
2. Are you in the mood to debate?
Self-care requires that you ensure you have time for a debate if you find yourself in one unexpectedly. There is no harm to anyone if you conclude that a particular moment is not good for you right now. Perhaps you haven’t eaten, you’ve had a bad day, you are feeling vulnerable. Walk away for now. If you desire to, assure the other person you will be more than happy to discuss the topic(s) later. Or not. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to debate an issue.
3. Body Language is as Significant As Words
This issue is the cause of so many conflicts today, b/c “keyboard warriors” who have no problem debating behind a screen leave you with much less information to debate (and also take advantage of the lack of body language and anonymity.
4. Listen to the Other Side
“You should spend more time listening than talking. Aim for listening for 75 percent of the conversation and giving your own arguments 25 percent.” Herring
5. Respond to the Other Person’s Concerns
Listening doesn’t mean that you’re thinking about what you’re going to say next. Saying the same thing over and over again is pointless. Listen to what the other person is concerned about.
6. Be Wary of Statistics, Personal Attacks and Straw-Man arguments
It is common for people to use information out of context or exaggerate. Be clear of your position; however be cautious about your delivery. Something said one way can be downright offensive, whereas said in a kinder, gentler tone will simply be an expression of your views.
7. Keep It Simple
Keep it simple and clear. It is easy to become bogged down in facts. Some issues require a knowledge of history beyond what many people are willing to learn. A short debate can not address all matters of a complex issue.
8. If You Chose to Debate Online
As for this one, all I have to provide is good luck. It has been my experience that debating topics without a face to face (even on Zoom, Face time, etc) is simply asking to be misunderstood. As stated above, the lack of body language is truly a disadvantage to understanding another person’s view.
9. Be Willing to Compromise
There are often times some good points to an opposing argument. Everyone must be willing to acknowledge when those times occur. The world is not black and white.
10. Maintain relationships
For me, most of the time, this is extremely important. Yes, I too have my redlines. However, they are few.